Weblog

Sunday, 30 March 2008

  • In response

    I don't believe this would be considered losing my self. I am a Christian. Yet every single person from religions all around feel the same as we do. Our religion is the only right there is no other and that the other have so kind of defect or is wong. I have learned about about other religions. I've been to mosque, temples, and various churches.

    I learned a lot and I Love Christ. But what I haven't found in all christian is love and understanding for not only themelves ,but for others. I want a part of something that not only excepts me but all. I just haven't been finding that at all. God loves us all. Even with Salem Beptist Church, I heard people say yea we let gays in but we don't let them sing in the choir. That disgusted me. That says to me that the church has two faces and two arms. One arm to hold you and another to beat you down.
    To me that is misleading and giving a false acceptance. Sing in the choir is a way to praise to the LORD who are they to say how ,when, and where you should praise him. When some of them act a fool in and outside of church. I see this as a direct disobeyance from GOD to deny one of his children the right to worship him.

    I want to find religion on my own. Just me and God I will ask him and let him be the judge for me. I want myself to find it and not because I was born into believing one way.  Nobody else.

    I, not this body, but this soul and personality could have easily been could have been born some where else. Some else with a different and if Muslim and Jewish I would be thinking the same exact thing.

  • Halo!

    Yes here I am again. Shit I need to write my paper and staying up this late is not getting me any closer. IT's not like I would be doing it anyway. Right now it's that time of month were I wish I had lost my ovaries shortly after birth like my kitten. PAIN sucks. I take take that back because there is always some wacko willing to do so.

    I'm on a diet so I cooked these, turkey burger grilled some tortillas with hummus, dill relish and some kosher pickles. yum-o!

    It's such an f-ing struggle, to gain weight like I have. This is hard because there is no healthy fast food joints. Well there is one place but their food sucks and is too expensive.

    I know my intelliegence points in language just went down a bit. But I'm stressing I also have a big exam tommorow. Give me a break!

Tuesday, 18 March 2008

  • In Addition

    I forgot to add that Rabbi mentioned previously mention actually is closer than I thought. His residence is less than 3 feet from where I work.He has 6-8 children and lives with his wife. The hold dinners at their house for the local Jewish community.They seem to be a nice family.

    How grand?

  • Religion "A Quest...or A War"

    Hey I'm back just as quick as I came. I actually like blogging. it's quite liberating. Any who, I been doing some intensive studying on the Baha'i faith, I know that I'm a Christians but I acknowledge a lot of text from other faiths. I am a very open person. I hope that what I choose that G-d will love me and that I make the right choice without any particular bias. I wish that whatever I choose to do that when I choose it, It won't be too late.


    I wish there was some kind of guiding light that will just let me know. In the mean time as I sit and wait for some religion to strike me. I start to feel guilty that I'm waiting idol with out a strong belief in a particular denomination or religion.


    I've done research and I have felt for a long time compelled to Judaism. It has intrigued me for years. So one year I took up a class on American Jewish Culture, it's not that I didn't like the subject. Matter fact I loved the subject but I don't think the class was for me. It left me with a very bad impression. Which for the sake of the few Jewish people I know or love, I will call that class a mistake on my part and will not let that experience, permanently shape my perception of Judaism as a religion, and Jewish cultural identification. As you can tell I had a tough time in the class. First off for it to be an intro class about Jewish culture I very much thought that it would be a very welcoming class but in fact it was not.


    Everyone in the class was no less than a quarter Jewish. So our instructor catered to that audience and ignored the measly minority (which included 2 black students and 1 Latino student..and this is including myself, mind you). I was completely lost and I figure so were they. My instructor was an Austrian Ashkenazic Jew and conducted the class mostly in mixture of English/ Hebrew. So frankly the class was not user friendly. I also continued my journey into Judaism despite my mishaps in that class, I spent my time to dig up the campus Rabbi, who from my friends I heard was very pleasant Orthodox Rabbi. This was a suggestion from instructor also, I should have known better.


    Which I didn't learn till later that this Rabbi frown upon conversion of non- ethnic Jews. So like a dummy, I walk right up to him and ask him for guidance thinking he would grace me with such knowledgeable words that I would be overcome with a starking epiphany. I instead found that he was quite short with me with a simple "hmm" and simply passed me out a fliers that he had passed out to all the other Jewish students without give me one inkling of insight. Well I looked at this flier it was that was stamped with address of the Hillel Center and Local student synagogue. It was then that I read the cover and it's internal structures. It plainly stated that it was a free trip to Israel, specifically Jerusalem; and in bold text it stated free trip for Ethnic Jews only . At first I thought the Rabbi must have been mistaken and gave me the wrong , but after only several moments of pondering I figured this was no mistake. If a clear message hadn't slapped me in the face I don't know what had.


    Sooo, I still continue to figure out ..I'll update everyone on what happens next. But this War is not over.

  • Extreme Boredom

    So it is on the brink of 1am and I have no friend to talk to. All the delicious aim chatter that I love so much usually dies down around this time. Which kind of sucks when people don't log on till 10pm, won't respond till 11pm, and once the conversation gets really juicy; they let out a big yawn because they are oh so sleepy. Which is not that bad go get some sleep I don't care as long as you don't leave on the brink of a good conversation. I admit that I myself do this also, so I guess I can't complain when my screens beckons the always terrifying "gtg's, brb, and ttyl's".

    I guess in my state of uber boredom I wished that everyone had the same sleep pattern as mine and frankly did not give a damn about social norms of sleep.
    But I was bored, so I started a blogspot. I really had to force myself, okay not really. I wanted to blog on my xanga I started a couple of weeks ago but neglected to actually utilized besides to write a meager comment on my friends blog.
    I just recently tried to log into my xanga but I couldn't figure out the darn password so I said forget it.
    So I wonder what kind of blog should I make this be. Personal, perfessional, special interest, or a super un-secretive special diary.
    Who knows so far....
    Maybe I let you know about my latest attractions and raves.
    Sooooo, my sister just let me know that she likes Clay Aiken. Which is a big thing for me being a semi-Claymaniac, okay bad choice of words ...let's just put it this way I love his music but I not going to stalk from city to city (that's just tad bit creepy and obsessive,and definitely expensive ..so I choose not to for good reason obviously) But any way back on subject here. My sister has always been heavily into R&B and rap , well to be truthful my whole entire family is. I been the odd ball all my life. And while every quasi- African American was rooting for Ruben, I was whispering my cheers for Clay.
    At the time of this American Idol season, I was in my first years of high school, I absolutely melted for Clay. My first boyfriend brought his CD as a gift , while making it clear that he truly hated pop and Clay included. But since it was for me, he sucked up his angst and chucked up the change to by it. I played the hell of out the CD. I was very poor and even if I wanted I had no choice but to play the hell out of that CD, considering my CD collection consisted of a Backstreet Boys CD my mom got for cheap (when I was clearly an N'Sync Fan), and Pink's There you go "single CD" (consisted of the same song in like 4 or 5 different versions).
    My family always wanted me to do the dialing for the voting stage of the competition. I always secretly voted for Clay, I always thought that one I day I would be caught ,but my mommy never took the time to do the detective work to analyze countless phone records. In my heart I always thought Clay had the best vocal range that natured my amateur ears.
    But anyway sister finally admitted that she loved his voice and his music. That really made me happy. And It must to been hard for her to admit after years of attesting him.
    Hmmm Blogging is coming easier than I thought ...maybe ...just maybe I found my new hobby. I really should find something constructive to do and I'm oh so hungry so I will finish cooking my food and get on to another day.
    Peace ..Love .. and G'day !!